He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am one with the molecules
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
