Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
