Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
