so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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