I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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