And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
