Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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