Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
