I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
