just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
