Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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