I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
