You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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