I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
