he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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