Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
why is half of my head shaved?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
