my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
