I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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