do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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