Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
