You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
