I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
