last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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