Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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