An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
