Moan for me like Helen Keller
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
