how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
