Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
