Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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