At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
