i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
its not stalking. its research.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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