made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize