WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
