So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
