I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
