Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
