I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
