What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
