i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i think im in europe. pls send help
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
