Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
