Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
