he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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