Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize