does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
