All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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