My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
