Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Still dying that you shit outside
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
