So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
