i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
