My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
