he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
