I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
