Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize