I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
