forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Operation Purity has been aborted
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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