I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
