Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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