but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just had sex on a roof
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize