I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
