there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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