nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
