You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize