Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
