JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
